Dear Isobel: What Color is Betrayal?

Dear Bel,
Just writing this hurts; it makes me think of what a good friend you are, and what poor substitutes I have now. You'll recall that whole David rant a few posts back? So, lets talk about the most recent development in this whole dealio; he is texting another girl, and I'll be damned if it doesn't feel like a bread knife in the back! Which is worse than a normal knife because its serated! OUCH! But it's not his actions that have me so torn up- he has every right to text other girls. I mean, I'm not THAT pyscho. It's really more the girl I have the problem with; enter the incalculable sense of betrayal. The girl he is texting night and day is none other than Annabel! (One of my closest friends, to the people of the internet). She had full knowledge of my crush on him and with little-to-no hesitation, she put the moves on him- and they worked! He even went so far as to say, AND I QUOTE DIRECTLY FROM THEIR TEXTS THAT SHE SHOWED ME ON HER PHONE, "I really like you, and I wish we could date, but we go to different schools, so it wouldn't work out." But, you know, with horrific grammer, as to be expected of most teenagers. I was heartbroken, and then to top the whole damn thing off, I learn that she had been planning to say yes if he'd asked her!
And I'd thought we were friends.
I'm not sure how to act around her anymore; for the moment, I've been playing it cool, acting like this whole mess hasn't affected our friendship. But this is not a new thing for her. She has tried the same thing with one of Lauren's old boyfriends and with my ex (WHILE WE WERE DATING.)
So Bel, what would you suggest as a plan of action? You know I have a hard time shunning people, or being mean unless its to protect someone else.
Here we are, in that same spot again. You gone, me needing you more than ever.
To explain the title- there are always colors associated with emotion (red for love or passion, green for envy, blue for sadness, ect.) So what color is betrayal?
You're in my heart and mind as always- wish on a star for me, would you?
~Willow

Dear Isobel: Coming Clean

Dear Isobel
I've been writing you for two reasons, and I feel like you should know what they are. One, is obvioulsy because I love you and miss having you here to share secrets with. You are one of my best friends, and I think of you every day... stuff like "Oh, Bel would have loved that" or "What would Bel have said to that? Probably something sassy and hilarious".
The other reason though, is since Mom went into rehab, I've been getting these weird feelings in my chest that tighten my lungs and make my heart race. Kind of simliar to athsma, but less breathing troubles and more chest pain. Luckily it's not on the left side of my torso, so no heart worries :) It scared the crap out of me though; I told Dad and he schedualed me a doctors appointment last week. Long strory short, (you know my problem with tangants) they think I've been experiencing panic attacks resulting from emotional strain. Their recommendation? JOURNAL!
Being the hipster child I am though, I wanted to do it on my blog! I knew you would understand, so I adressed them to you, dearest! So there's a little backstory.
I will post again soon!
Much Love,
~Willow

Dear Isobel: The David Train

Dear Isobel
Life is so wonderfully, fantastically strange. The closest thing I can compare it to is a tempermental child. It doesn't want to make up its mind on how things are going to go; is it going to be rainbows, sunshine and butterflies, or will it instead drag me into the dark, dank blackhole of depression? Oh, the life of a middle class American teenager! Woah is me! But please, my dearest Isobel, let me update you on the trials and tribulations of a small town girl, LIVIN' IN A LONELY WORLD! Had to through that in there ;) So! To work on long overdue explanations!

• Boys. Or more accurately, ONE boy imparticular. I post this with the upmost confidence that, wherever you may be, you will keep your lovely lips SHUT! But I trust you dearest. David is his name, confusion is his game! If there were a competition to see who could be the most vauge, flirty bastard on the block, he would win without a doubt. Granted, it was my stupid, stupid heart that jumped into the pit of no return, on no advice of mine may I add! Slightly curling blonde hair, that I desire with all my being to run my fingers through. (A little lip-on-lip action never hurt ;) and a smile that robs me of my capacity for speech, leaving me a stuttering, lovestruck fool. My hazel orbs meet his blue bliss eyes and I cannot suppress that twittery, giggling school girl for the life of me. When his arms enclose around me, I find myself keeping him close to me a little longer than one would with a friend. His real trump card is that look he gets on his face when he's troubled, or he's sad. By God, if every last one of my filters aren't just obliterated... He talks about wanting to get to know someone before he considers dating them- *GASP!* A boy looking for something more than a piece of ass on a saturday night?! Oh Isobel, his smile... his chivalry... his authenticity. You'd never hear this out of my mouth in ANY other instance, but his wholesomeness! I, on the other hand, have not been able to keep my thoughts so pure... ;) He is everything I want- everything I think I need. Being a teenager, you should take everything I say with a dramatic eye roll. Bel, you know me to be a drama queen- you should expect no less from my cute, pompus ass! Now, of course I'm sure you're wondering.. what the hell is stopping me? Because, as you might have guessed, David and I are both painfully and POINTLESSLY single! I can already hear your voice in my head.. "If he's such hot stuff, and you're already so very sexilichious, then why aren't you two just humping like bunnies?!" Well, the sad truth of the matter is that I am not the only girl who has noticed these wonderful, charming and absolutely attractive qualities in our dear David. At school, there is literally- I kid you not- a David K. fan club. I call it the David Train. There are a great many girls that are currently on the David Train, and that in turn causes a great many problems for US simple, gentle girls. Isobel, if you could only see this madness! Girls clamoring over one another for an oppertunity to talk to him! To be graced with his presence is cause for celebration, where they then discuss how "cute you two would be!"!! You hear me complain about it all the time, but it can never be reiterated enough- TEENAGE GIRLS. CANNOT HANDLE THEM. I myself like to appericiate everything about someone; their strengths, their passions, their desires and their drive to achieve them. I do not spend my time pondering how adorable our babies would be, or all the cute couples names we could use. Unfortunately, I am the minority in this situation. You'd agree with me if I went so far as to say the only SANE one. But to get back on topic, I take it as a compliment that despite his ridiculous fan base, he spends a good amount of his time talking with me. I'll be honest- I CRAVE THAT BOY, AND WISH FOR MORE TIME WITH HIM! I do, I do, I do! Now, here comes the vauge/flirtatious/bastard part... he is quite aware of his power over women, young AND old! (I once saw a teacher giggle as he walked away when he had asked her a question about the homework.. extremely disturbing.) He flirts left and right, and damn my weakness, but it hurts! But myaybe that's just me being a possesive bitch... always a possibility. This whole thing reminds me of that song from one of our favorite movies- The Corpse Bride! "If only he could see how special YOU can be, if he only knew the you that we-e know!" Okay, I'm lying to myself with thses bullet points... There's no point to me starting another subject, because I've already written a short novel about this one!

Bel, I miss you so much; with all of my heart and soul. You are engrained on the inside of my eyelids, and your pretty face is painted into my dreams with hues of purple and crimson every night. Know that you will always have a home here, with me or otherwise. I know why you left; if you ever find the strength, pay me a visit sometime lovely. For you I preserve and stay the whittling words of others, with a hand in the shape of God's. As always, I ask nothing but to keep me in your heart as I keep you in mine.
Peace be with you sweet.
With words of love, whispered into the willows on a cold fall night, stay strong.
~Willow.